this is it!

ok! thats it. im sick n tired of being the 'clown' of the house. well if they do not know how 2 appreciate wad they have then they have to accept the fact that they r gonna lose it. i dont know if they know wat they are doing...but wat they had done had hurt me deeply...its not funny to hurt a person...cant they atleast think before they say something which wud hurt..wat do they take me for anyway. keeping on smiling even after they had uttered something to hurt me doesnt mean that im not hurt...to continue doing the same thing again n again.....this is crazy.....im not gonna...guess wat let me tell u 1 thing im sick n tired of living...i sometimes wish im better of dead....this is not fair...after u cum back from work, when i open the door ur like 'smile faiza'. then while traveling ur like 'dont keep ur face like that! smile!' then when i smile ur like 'smile like this. that looks so fake.' then when u expect me to laugh after telling some lame jokes u go 'when u laugh try to show ur teeth' i dont need to be told wat to do by u guys. im already fifteen for heavens sake i know the basics. n the basics are, dont do anything that would embarrass ur parents and make sure u obey them no matter wat ,and treat them like 'god'!!!! guess wat, all this while i have not been myself. i have been u!U! i am everything u wanted me to be( for the most part! )!the way i talk, the way i move the way i dress up, the way i present my self, the kind of shows i watch, the time i wake up, the shoes i wear, the things i think! everything! n now that i have started to think for myself u guys go 'what happened to our child!' and u guys show me the video u took when i was 3 and tell me 'that is my girl. that is faiza. we dont know who u r. i want my kid back.' it really hurts when u say these thing. so if im not ur kid then who am i ?